“A doubtful mind I was.
A faithful heart I am.
A fruitful life
I shall before long be.”
“A doubtful mind I was.
Some of you have come here to see a spiritual teacher. Some of you have come to see a yogi. Some of you have come to see a seeker. I am grateful to those who have come here to see the spiritual teacher in me. I am more grateful to those who have come to see the yogi in me. I am most grateful to those who have come here to see the seeker in me.
As a spiritual teacher, I teach my students or disciples with my heart's love. I have no other way. I have no other knowledge but the knowledge of love. With my heart's love, I try to teach my followers and disciples.
As a yogi who is constantly one with his Inner Pilot, I try to be always at the command of my Inner Pilot. I try to execute His commands and thereby be of service to those who come to me for inner guidance.
As a seeker, I am always at the feet of the Transcendental Supreme. I am a seeker, a seeker of the Infinite Truth. A seeker knows that his journey will never come to an end. He realises the Truth, but he feels that there is no end to his realisation. He discovers the loftiest Truth, the Transcendental Truth, but then he feels there is no end to his Truth discovery. He comes to realise that because God is infinite, eternal and immortal, there is no end to God's Infinity, Eternity and Immortality. God Himself is constantly transcending His own Infinity, Eternity and Immortality. So we must realise that we are seekers of the ever-transcending Beyond. Each seeker is transcending his own capacity, his own reality, his own dream, his own realisation every day, every hour, every minute and every second.
When one becomes a sincere seeker, he discovers something which a non seeker has not discovered. A sincere seeker of the highest Truth discovers the fact that he made a solemn promise to the Supreme before he entered into the world arena. This promise was very simple and, at the same time, very soulful. His promise was to be the conscious instrument of the Supreme and to manifest the Supreme here on earth through his dedication, through his aspiration and through his conscious oneness with the world at large. This is the promise each aspiring soul has made, according to the seeker's own vision. All human souls, without exception, make this promise to the Absolute Supreme. Unfortunately, when we enter into the world, we enter into the sea of ignorance. We bathe for thousands of years in this sea of ignorance, but when we become tired of this ignorance bath, we enter into the Sea of Knowledge and Wisdom. Then we remember our promise, our promise of God-manifestation on earth. Each individual being will one day come to realise that he has made this promise to the Absolute.
Unconsciously everybody is trying to fulfil this promise. But a seeker is trying consciously to fulfil it, and a realised soul has already begun to fulfil it consciously and unconditionally. A seeker of the highest Truth fulfils his promise consciously and soulfully. A spiritual Master fulfils his promise consciously and unconditionally. But the individual who is not aspiring and who does not care for God realisation or God manifestation right now, is fulfilling his promise unconsciously.
When one is fulfilling or trying to fulfil God consciously, he is fulfilling God in a perfect manner. When he is fulfilling God unconsciously, he is fulfilling God in an imperfect manner. When one has realised God consciously, one goes a step further and tries to reveal God consciously. Finally, one tries to manifest God consciously. In conscious realisation, conscious revelation and conscious manifestation, we see God the Eternal Perfection. God is for everyone, but one who is conscious of God's Existence Reality is undoubtedly ahead in the divine race.
Each individual looks for something here on earth and there in Heaven. Here on earth we look for something in God. When we enter into the spiritual life, we pray to God, we meditate on God, we contemplate on God. First we start with our prayers. We learn how to pray from our parents. Then we try to concentrate on something which we want to achieve. We know that when our mind wanders we cannot achieve anything, whereas when we focus our attention and power of concentration on a particular thing we achieve success. We learn the art of concentration, then we go one step ahead to meditation. When we meditate, we try to embody the Vast, the Infinite within us, or we try to dive into the vast, infinite Sea of Light and Delight. The last step is contemplation. When we contemplate, our consciousness becomes one with the thing that we contemplate upon. The lover becomes one with the Beloved. The finite loses its finite existence and becomes one with the Infinite, becoming the Infinite itself. The earth bound consciousness becomes one with the Heaven free consciousness.
A seeker wants to see God. When he sees God face to face, he wants to see a certain thing in God, a special thing, and that thing is a sweet smile. Just by seeing God, he will not be satisfied. He wants to see God's exquisite smile. If he sees that God is smiling at him, he will achieve everything. Then the seeker wants to see a certain thing in man and that thing is gratitude. He looks around. He feels that at every moment, consciously or unconsciously, he is offering something to mankind. He feels that if he can observe an iota of gratitude in mankind, then his self offering will be fulfilled. But mankind is not responding.
Then the seeker looks up to Heaven. He wants to see a certain thing in Heaven, and that thing is Compassion. He feels that if Heaven does not supply him with infinite Compassion, he is helpless. Although he has achieved something in life and the world extols him to the skies, he knows in the inmost recesses of his heart that he is helpless. He feels that if he gets more encouraging and fulfilling Compassion from Heaven, then he will be able to complete his task on earth most convincingly and powerfully.
The seeker expects something from earth. What does he expect? Patience. Earth has given him everything, but when he wants to do something for the earth consciousness, he feels that the earth consciousness is restless. It wants everything in the twinkling of an eye. He wants to see patience in the earth consciousness, and eventually there comes a time when the earth consciousness does have the necessary patience which permits him to manifest the highest truth on earth. The seeker expects something from his own life. What does he expect? Unconditional service to mankind. If he can serve mankind unconditionally, then he will be satisfied. If he serves conditionally, then he can never be satisfied or fulfilled. He expects from himself unconditional service to the world at large, and ultimately he grows into that unconditional service tree.
The seeker expects something when his present earth pilgrimage comes to an end. What does he expect? He expects the Song of Immortality. He feels that if he can hear the Song of Immortality, then he will someday achieve everything for the earth-consciousness.
Here we are all seekers. Now, there are two categories of seekers: mind seekers and heart seekers, or mental seekers and psychic seekers. The seekers who want to realise the Highest with the help of the mind, through the mind, eventually come to know that they are travelling on a very crowded train. This is the mind train. While they are travelling on the mind train, they see that with them are quite a few other passengers, and these passengers are fear, doubt, anxiety, jealousy and other negative and destructive forces. The train is overburdened. It goes slowly, very slowly, creeping sluggishly towards its destination. God alone knows when it will reach its journey's goal. With utmost uncertainty the mind train crawls toward its destination. But those who want to realise the Highest through the heart and with the help of the heart travel on another train. That is the heart train. When the seeker travels on the heart train, there is nobody else with him. He is alone, he and the mounting flame of his aspiration. The train flies toward the destination at top speed because there are very few passengers weighing it down, and it reaches its destination sooner, much sooner than it even expects.
God is an eternal Player. We are His children, who are also playing in the Cosmic Game.
When we live in the physical, we play with sleep, day in and day out. Our consciousness is not awakened.
When we live in the vital, we play with depression and frustration. When we do not achieve our goal in the vital, we are frustrated and depressed; and when we do achieve our goal, we also feel frustrated and depressed, because we feel that it was something else we wanted.
When we live in the mind, we play with doubt. While playing with doubt, at times we feel that doubt is not a good partner, so we suffer a lot.
But there comes a time when faith looms large within us, and then we transfigure our mental doubt. On the strength of our inner faith, we begin to live in our heart and we play with surrender. Sometimes we surrender to the Absolute, sometimes we try to compel the Reality which we are praying for to surrender to us. And Reality, being all one, surrenders, because of our sincere inner cry. But when Reality enters into us in the form of aspiration, it makes us feel that by pleasing us in our own way, it will never be able to satisfy us. Only if we please the ultimate Reality in its own way can we be fulfilled. In the spiritual life, many times when we are pleased in our own way, we are not satisfied. Only when we are pleased in the way of the Divine, of the Supreme, can we be inwardly fulfilled.
At the beginning, we start our journey to please ourselves. In order to please ourselves, naturally we have to go through some discipline; for without discipline, we will not have any success. We have to follow mental, vital, psychic and spiritual discipline in order to see the face of inner satisfaction. Even when satisfaction looms large, we are not satisfied unless we please the Inner Pilot in His own way. Only then does real satisfaction, eternal satisfaction, dawn in our lives. We try to control our lives, we try to perfect our lives and that is good. But when we try to please the Inner Pilot in His own way on the strength of our unconditional surrender, when we make an unconditional surrender to His will, when we become His chosen instruments and fulfil Him in His own way, at that time we become perfect instruments. When today we have the inner dedication to say, "Let Thy Will be done," tomorrow we will have the right to say, "I and my Father are one."
June 12th, 1973
Keynes Hall, Kings College