Sometimes in my meditations I come to think about the feeling of eternity. I come to feel that human beings have lived forever and will live forever. This feeling, instead of causing me pleasure and a good sensation, on the contrary causes me great anguish and pain. I feel then that I am all alone, that I am living a life of my own, different from everything. I feel that I have no world left, that by the power of my mind, I have destroyed the world and am alone by myself. This thought causes me a great deal of pain and I have wanted to mention this state of mind. I want to know if I am taking a wrong path.
When, in your meditation, you feel that you are lonely, alone, it is not actually the loneliness of the human being. At that time you get a glimpse of the Sole One. This One pervades all. We call it Brahman, the One without a second. When you feel that you are lonely, it is really the feeling of your unconscious oneness with that Absolute Oneness. But when the physical, the vital and the mental beings are not transformed to a considerable degree, they are afraid of this super-loneliness. It is not actually loneliness, as I have said, it is the sense of the Oneness. You see the reality; you feel the One pervading everything.
Now, what is actually happening in your meditation is that at times your aspiration, before it reaches its goal or before it finds its abode in the goal, ceases. Your heart's mounting flame rises upward, but there are a few stops and breaks. If there were a gradual and continuous flight and if it were uninterrupted, then you would not feel the loneliness at the lower levels of your consciousness. Please try to keep your aspiration uninterrupted at all times. The inner runner must complete his race divine.
When you live the spiritual life, you live in eternity. This eternity does not present itself as a problem, but as an inspiration, encouragement, aspiration and illumination. It is eternity that is constantly carrying us into the immortal Self and that immortal Self is our real Self.